Imagine yourself a kindergartner on your first day of school... a kindergartner with a loose tooth... you’re already a little nervous... a little scared... alone in a new place without your mom or dad... stuck in a classroom with 20 or so other nervous, scared five-year-old strangers... and you’re sitting on the oval rug with the ABCs... on one side of you there’s a boy who’s picking his nose... on the other side of you there’s a girl who’s whining about having to go pee... and it’s hot and sticky because the air conditioning isn’t working... and you start working at that loose tooth with your tongue just to comfort yourself, to occupy your mind, keep it from running wild and telling you to get up and run wild out of that room, like a worry bead in your mouth... and all of a sudden that tooth pops out of your gum... and there’s some blood and you spit it and the tooth into your palm and you stick it up into your teacher’s face... she’s nice and calm about it and calls over to the next door classroom for a first grade helper to accompany you to the office so the nurse can give you a little case to keep that tooth safe until you get home and put it under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy... and you are so happy with the tooth in its little tooth-shaped vault... you are already thinking about the cash that you might get from that Tooth Fairy... maybe a whole dollar... sweet... and you are on your way back to your classroom when all of sudden you stop and realize that you don’t know where you are going... that stupid first grader left you in the office and went back to class and you must have taken a wrong turn... and now YOU’VE LOST YOUR SCHOOL!!!!!
“You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.”
Luckily, a kindly librarian happens to be walking the hallway... and she's even better than Google Maps, because she can put an arm around your shoulder and calm your sobbing and actually accompany you back to your "school"... where that gross boy is STILL picking his nose and the little girl has peed on that pretty ABC rug...
Submitted for your approval... the first day of school.