Leonard Pinth-Garnell (aka Dan Aykroyd)
Thanks to my Highsmith Librarian's Desk Calendar, I learned that today, August 18th, is National Bad Poetry Day. Of course I had to do a little research on this holiday of which I knew absolutely nothing (except that it sounds delightfully fun!) Turns out that National Bad Poetry Day was not created by Congress, nor the Library of Congress, nor Hallmark (that would be National Sappy Poetry Day), nor Leonard Pinth-Garnell, but by entrepreneurs Thomas and Ruth Roy, who apparently copyrighted the idea through their "Wellcat" website. (They also apparently sell herbs, but I did not venture a mouse click to find out which kind.) The Roys suggest celebrating the holiday by inviting some friends over to write some wretched poems and then sending them to your old high school English teachers. I'll admit that sounds like a hoot to me (but then I'm a writer.) If you don't have time to put together a poetry party, you can mark the day by checking out the bad poetry compiled at (where else?) Very Bad Poetry ("the last refuge of the world's worst poetry.")
There you can find such gems as "Mexican Food" (which, to pinch a Pinth-Garnell phrase, really bites the big one (pun fully intended). Or take a gander at the execrable haiku "Butterfly" (as Pinth-Garnell would say "exquisitely awful") or the monumentally ill-advised "Fattypants." You might also despise the horrifically sadistic "Bachelor of IT" and the stunningly bad favorite of physicists everywhere, "Schrodinger's sex panther."
Or take a moment to jot down some unrelentingly bad verse yourself and post it. If you do, send me the link so we can all enjoy. Or feel free to write some bad (as opposed to badass) poetry in the comment box. As Leonard Pinth-Garnell would put it, "There now, that wasn't so good, was it?"
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