Scraping the barrel today... library humor

Why did the librarian slip on the library floor?
It was the non-friction section.

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile)  "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"

Announcing the New Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge Device, Otherwise Known as the BOOK!
It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology:  no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.  It's so easy to  use even a child can operate it.  Just lift its cover.  Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere--even sitting in an armchair by the fire--yet it is  powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.
Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.  
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.  The book may be  taken up at any time and used by merely opening it.  The "browse" feature allows  you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward and backward as you wish.  Most come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session--even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.
Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, an many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus...
Thank you to IFLANET for borrowing privileges!