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We last posted about the Hayward Gallery's (London) latest exhibit, "Invisible: Art About the Unseen." Well, we found some more examples, including one called The Museum of Non-Visible Art perpetrated by our erstwhile intern, James Franco. For shame, Jimmie!
And then there is the music which is not be to played by avant-garde composer, John Cage. Entitled 4'33" (Four minutes and 33 seconds), it requires the musician(s) playing any instrument(s) to NOT play for the entire duration of the piece, so we have four minutes and 33 seconds of SILENCE. Grab your favorite alcoholic (or non-alcoholic) beverage and settle back in your favorite chair for this amazing work of art:
And then there is the music which is not be to played by avant-garde composer, John Cage. Entitled 4'33" (Four minutes and 33 seconds), it requires the musician(s) playing any instrument(s) to NOT play for the entire duration of the piece, so we have four minutes and 33 seconds of SILENCE. Grab your favorite alcoholic (or non-alcoholic) beverage and settle back in your favorite chair for this amazing work of art:
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Once there was, and once there was not, an art museum in London. It was called the Hayward Gallery and it was part of a humungous arts center (or "centre" as they spell it across the pond) that included venues for music, theatre and dance performances, as well as a fabulous library just for poetry of all kinds. It sprawled on the south bank of the River Thames (hence its name "Southbank Centre"), stretching all the way from Waterloo Bridge (made famous by a Vivien Leigh movie and a Kinks song) to the London Eye (a gigantic Ferris Wheel). It was quite the place for Art with a capital "A."
Now the Hayward Galley was an ugly building on the outside, fortress-like, with a facade of massive, jutting concrete blocks. This was called "Brutalist" architecture and was apparently all the rage starting in the 1950's and running through the mid-'70's, and it did in fact remind an observer of the Cold War, totalitarianism and Soviet Union-era apartment blocks. But I digress. Anyway, the Hayward did not house any permanent art collections. Instead, it hosted three or four temporary exhibitions each year. Millions of art lovers passed through its chrome and glass doors to view historic works by Leonardo DaVinci, Edvard Munch and the French Impressionists, as well as modern and contemporary art by Pop artist Roy Lichtenstein (the cartoon-dot guy) and sculptor Antony Gormley.
Gormley's "Angel of the North" and Lichtenstein's "Drowning Girl" (courtesy Creative Commons images)
The curators of the Hayward were tossing ideas around for a new exhibition one winter's day when a horrendous blizzard struck the heart of London, the worst in a century, rendering the known world invisible in a cloak of blinding white. The curators stared out the windows into... a white void... and suddenly it dawned on them in a moment of simultaneous ideaism.
"Ah hah! By Jove! That's the ticket!" they shouted (or whatever Brits exclaim when the lightbulb goes on above their heads). "Invisible art! Come on, let's put on a show!"
So they set out to scour the world for 50 works of art that no one could see. Surprisingly, their quest proved not too hard to achieve, because over the past 70 years, painters and sculptors and other "artistes" had apparently been making lots of invisible art!
"Ah hah! By Jove! That's the ticket!" they shouted (or whatever Brits exclaim when the lightbulb goes on above their heads). "Invisible art! Come on, let's put on a show!"
So they set out to scour the world for 50 works of art that no one could see. Surprisingly, their quest proved not too hard to achieve, because over the past 70 years, painters and sculptors and other "artistes" had apparently been making lots of invisible art!
They scooped up a sculpture by American artist Andy Warhol that he did not create and exhibit at the New York nightclub, Area, in May of 1985. The art consisted of an empty pedestal with a label: "Andy Warhol, USA/Invisible Sculpture/Mixed Media, 1985." He hung around it for awhile, posing awkwardly, then walked away.
Brilliant!!
Next, they wrangled a Claes Oldenburg piece titled "Proposed Underground Memorial and Tomb for President John F. Kennedy" that was not constructed in 1965. It would have been a hollow bronze casting the size of the Statue of Liberty, buried upside down. Through an opening "about the size of a golf ball," a spectator could have viewed the interior by kneeling or lying down, eyeball to the hole.
Extraordinary!!
Brilliant!!
Next, they wrangled a Claes Oldenburg piece titled "Proposed Underground Memorial and Tomb for President John F. Kennedy" that was not constructed in 1965. It would have been a hollow bronze casting the size of the Statue of Liberty, buried upside down. Through an opening "about the size of a golf ball," a spectator could have viewed the interior by kneeling or lying down, eyeball to the hole.
Extraordinary!!
The curators took the Chunnel over to France to take a gander at the non-works of French artist provocateur Yves Klein, who stunned the Parisian art world in 1958 with a show that consisted of an entirely empty gallery (yes, blank white walls) which he insisted were filled to the brim with an invisible "blue sensibility." Klein also proposed "Air Architecture," an immaterial architecture made of the elements of nature, such as air, fire and water. For example, if you lived in a cooler Northern climate, you would have a wall of fire. In the hot South, your walls would be of refreshing water. (Who knows what would happen in a drought!) Anyway, you get the picture and are probably asking yourself: "What was he smoking?"
I'm guessing it wasn't just Gitanes.
I'm guessing it wasn't just Gitanes.
From the sketchbook: walls of feu and eau
Moving on to Copenhagen, they made a particularly intriguing find: the "Invisible Labyrinth" by Danish artist Jeppe Hein.
"Just look at this," one said. "Our visitors will wear digital headphones that vibrate whenever they knock into one of the invisible walls of the maze!"
"Oh, won't it be hysterical?" replied the other. "Watching them make complete and utter fools of themselves traipsing around an empty room, bumping into things that aren't there?!"
Smashing!!
"Just look at this," one said. "Our visitors will wear digital headphones that vibrate whenever they knock into one of the invisible walls of the maze!"
"Oh, won't it be hysterical?" replied the other. "Watching them make complete and utter fools of themselves traipsing around an empty room, bumping into things that aren't there?!"
Smashing!!
Walking the labyrinth that wasn't there...
They came upon an artist named Tom Friedman who specialized in invisible art and fell in love with a work he claimed took five years to create. It was a blank sheet of paper (not even canvas), 32 1/2 by 32 1/2 inches square, entitled "1,000 Hours of Staring, 1992-97."
"It's exquisite! But what media did you use?" they asked.
"Stare on paper," he replied.
"It's exquisite! But what media did you use?" they asked.
"Stare on paper," he replied.
They traveled the continents until they had gathered 49 pieces to exhibit. They were exhausted by their efforts.
"Let's go home," said one. "49 pieces of invisible art are enough."
"Wait! I've found the 50th!" shouted the other. "We can't possibly not include this one. It's a photo of the artist showing a blank canvas to a white horse."
"Oh, now that is either deep..."
"Or a pile of horsesh--t!"
They were truly ROFLMFAO by now. They chortled and guffawed as they hauled all the invisible art back to the gallery and hung it on the walls and arranged it on white pedestals and plinths. They tediously printed all the exhibit labels in a SERIOUS font and attached them neatly next to the works. They labored over a fine catalog to accompany the exhibit, printed on luxurious, real paper that you could actually see, touch and smell.
At long last, they proclaimed to the world that their exhibit was open. And people came from far and wide to pay real money to oooh and aaah over the empty galleries, blank canvases and barren sculptural plinths.
"Let's go home," said one. "49 pieces of invisible art are enough."
"Wait! I've found the 50th!" shouted the other. "We can't possibly not include this one. It's a photo of the artist showing a blank canvas to a white horse."
"Oh, now that is either deep..."
"Or a pile of horsesh--t!"
They were truly ROFLMFAO by now. They chortled and guffawed as they hauled all the invisible art back to the gallery and hung it on the walls and arranged it on white pedestals and plinths. They tediously printed all the exhibit labels in a SERIOUS font and attached them neatly next to the works. They labored over a fine catalog to accompany the exhibit, printed on luxurious, real paper that you could actually see, touch and smell.
At long last, they proclaimed to the world that their exhibit was open. And people came from far and wide to pay real money to oooh and aaah over the empty galleries, blank canvases and barren sculptural plinths.
"Well, what do you think?"
"Hmm, I don't know. What do you think?"
"Let me just stare a minute whilst I ponder."
"Alright then, I'll stare as well."
Time passed.
"Well?"
"Could be an incredibly prescient exploration of the power of the imagination."
"Could be the apotheosis of conceptual art nonsense."
"WTF?"
"A big joke."
The small child ran from room to room, searching for something to see. He tugged at his mother's stylish black tunic. His voice was a rather loud whine, an assault to the ears in the hushed gallery.
"But Mummie, you said we were going to see some art. And there is nothing here!"
"Hmm, I don't know. What do you think?"
"Let me just stare a minute whilst I ponder."
"Alright then, I'll stare as well."
Time passed.
"Well?"
"Could be an incredibly prescient exploration of the power of the imagination."
"Could be the apotheosis of conceptual art nonsense."
"WTF?"
"A big joke."
The small child ran from room to room, searching for something to see. He tugged at his mother's stylish black tunic. His voice was a rather loud whine, an assault to the ears in the hushed gallery.
"But Mummie, you said we were going to see some art. And there is nothing here!"
Tom Friedman: 1000 Hours of Staring 1992-97 (courtesy MOMA)
It's no fairytale.
If you don't believe me, you can check it out at The Hayward Gallery: Invisible: Art About the Unseen 1957-2012.
It's all a bit too much for me. Call me a material girl, but I like my art to be, well, material.
If you don't believe me, you can check it out at The Hayward Gallery: Invisible: Art About the Unseen 1957-2012.
It's all a bit too much for me. Call me a material girl, but I like my art to be, well, material.
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I am sure we can all count the ways we have appreciated the esteemed teachers who have touched our lives over the years... but do we really have to be so sappy? Can we talk? (Read: Can I rant?) We've all known teachers who haven't been the brightest bulbs in the socket and some who, in fact, give fellow teachers a bad rap. For instance, the latest egregious act of behavior by a fellow teacher that came across my transom this week: a former teaching colleague who admitted (proudly) on Facebook that she hadn't in her entire life (the woman is in her early 30s) read an entire novel cover-to-cover until she downloaded "mommy porn" 50 Shades of Grey on her new Kindle. (In her weak defense, she also purchased The Help and The Hunger Games.) Wow. This person is now an administrator (assistant principal for a middle school). Descriptive words fail me.
Of course, I don't know what offends me the most, the fact that she was bragging (in a backhanded way) about never finishing a book or the fact that none of the enterprising librarians who must have passed through her life ever found a book for this reader. Didn't they have a copy of The Story of O or the any of the novels penned by the Marquis de Sade gathering dust on their shelves? She could have had her nose in a book a long time ago!
Cops have a saying when a fellow officer commits a crime: "You dirtied my badge."
I guess teachers need to come up with one, too.
"You spoiled my apple."
"You smudged my blackboard."
"You made the rest of us look like we actually did graduate in the bottom third of our class and just barely passed our certification tests."
Of course, I don't know what offends me the most, the fact that she was bragging (in a backhanded way) about never finishing a book or the fact that none of the enterprising librarians who must have passed through her life ever found a book for this reader. Didn't they have a copy of The Story of O or the any of the novels penned by the Marquis de Sade gathering dust on their shelves? She could have had her nose in a book a long time ago!
Cops have a saying when a fellow officer commits a crime: "You dirtied my badge."
I guess teachers need to come up with one, too.
"You spoiled my apple."
"You smudged my blackboard."
"You made the rest of us look like we actually did graduate in the bottom third of our class and just barely passed our certification tests."
If you're an idiot, have the decency to keep it to yourself.
Here endeth the rant.
Here endeth the rant.
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Organizers of the 2012 London Olympics apparently contacted the manager of legendary rock group The Who to inquire as to whether its former drummer Keith Moon would be willing and available to participate in the closing ceremonies for the Games.
Keith Moon died in 1978 from an overdose of a prescription medication which was supposed to aid his withdrawal from alcohol-addiction.
Keith Moon died in 1978 from an overdose of a prescription medication which was supposed to aid his withdrawal from alcohol-addiction.
At 32, he did die before he got old.
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Apparently my post of a couple of days ago regarding fonts struck a nerve, judging by the comments and emails. Just what is it about Comic Sans that drives people to such passionate heights of love and hate? Personally, I have nothing against the Comic Sans font. It is, in fact, the favorite font of teachers hither and yon because 1) it's easy to read; 2) it's friendly and unassuming (as far as fonts go); 3) it's just about the only typeface that uses a handwritten style letter "a"; and 4) it is an easy font for children with dyslexia to decipher.
What's to hate?
The strange thing is Comic Sans was not created to be a font for everyday use. It was designed in 1994 by Vincent Connare, who worked as a typographic engineer at Microsoft. He was working on a beta version of Microsoft Bob, a software package designed to be particularly user-friendly. (Never heard of it? I know. Neither had I!) The software included a word processor and a finances management piece, and for a time was the developmental baby of Melinda French, who later became Mrs Bill Gates.
Hey, that pooch in the corner looks familiar!
Connare thought the choice of Times New Roman was not quite appropriate for this next-door neighbor vibe. Too harsh, a bit schoolmarmish, even...shall we say... boring. Connare was a graphic novel aficionado. He took that inspiration, speech bubbles and all, and ran with it, conjuring up simple, rounded letters that might have been created by an Ellison die cutter or even just a pair of scissors. Of course, he wasn't sitting there snipping away. He used a popular font-making software package.
Vincent Connare: no regrets!
The font that he created, which was still nameless, was rejected for technical
reasons, but then it was resurrected for the successful Microsoft Movie Maker program. From there, it was added as a typeface called Comic Sans (without a serif) in the Windows 95 operating system, and the rest is history. For the record, Vince also created the Trebuchet and Magpie fonts.
Apparently, Comic Sans is the victim of its own success, its ubiquity (in the words of the art world). Too much of a good thing... familiarity breeds contempt. What should have stayed in the realm of the child-like and casual strayed into serious or formal territory. Comic Sans may have been wonderful for designs related to comic books, cartoons or children, but those in the know declared that it had no place in business or professional work usage. Thus, the Comic Sans backlash.
The "Ban Comic Sans" movement is the brainchild of graphic designers Dave and Holly Crumbs, who admit their resistance is more than a little tongue-in-cheek.
But love it or hate, we can all just get along and agree that there are certain times when Comic Sans is just inappropriate!
reasons, but then it was resurrected for the successful Microsoft Movie Maker program. From there, it was added as a typeface called Comic Sans (without a serif) in the Windows 95 operating system, and the rest is history. For the record, Vince also created the Trebuchet and Magpie fonts.
Apparently, Comic Sans is the victim of its own success, its ubiquity (in the words of the art world). Too much of a good thing... familiarity breeds contempt. What should have stayed in the realm of the child-like and casual strayed into serious or formal territory. Comic Sans may have been wonderful for designs related to comic books, cartoons or children, but those in the know declared that it had no place in business or professional work usage. Thus, the Comic Sans backlash.
The "Ban Comic Sans" movement is the brainchild of graphic designers Dave and Holly Crumbs, who admit their resistance is more than a little tongue-in-cheek.
But love it or hate, we can all just get along and agree that there are certain times when Comic Sans is just inappropriate!
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Caution: this post contains photos of a graphic nature which may disturb those of a more sensitive nature (and women who wear sensible shoes)!
The historical origins of the practice (torture?) of footbinding are vague, although brief references in Chinese texts of the time suggest that small feet for women were preferred as early as the Han dynasty (206 B.C. - 220 A.D.). The first documented reference to the actual binding of a foot is from the court of the Southern Tang dynasty in Nanjing (618 - 900 A.D.). The text celebrates the fame of its dancing girls renowned for their tiny feet and beautiful bow shoes. The practice became the standard for feminine beauty at the imperial court, the mark of a "woman of wealth and taste," and then spread downward socially and geographically as the lower classes endeavored to imitate the style of the elite (as it is ever thus).
The historical origins of the practice (torture?) of footbinding are vague, although brief references in Chinese texts of the time suggest that small feet for women were preferred as early as the Han dynasty (206 B.C. - 220 A.D.). The first documented reference to the actual binding of a foot is from the court of the Southern Tang dynasty in Nanjing (618 - 900 A.D.). The text celebrates the fame of its dancing girls renowned for their tiny feet and beautiful bow shoes. The practice became the standard for feminine beauty at the imperial court, the mark of a "woman of wealth and taste," and then spread downward socially and geographically as the lower classes endeavored to imitate the style of the elite (as it is ever thus).
Young girls between the ages of four and seven were the ideal candidates for the start of the torture/foot binding. A strip of cloth ten feet long and two inches wide was wrapped tightly around the foot. The four small toes were broken and bent under the sole. The arch of the foot was bowed to make the foot shorter. The cloth wrap was tightened over time and the foot was confined by increasingly smaller shoes. After about two years, the process (torture) had done its job. By then, the feet were useless for walking more than a few steps. The results of this torture:
An x-ray of feet deformed by the practice of footbinding and a look from the outside
All of this cruelty was performed so that they could wear shoes like those to the right.
As you can imagine, they spent most of their time lying around on sofas, which may sound like a cushy deal, but not when you start thinking about it. Too much lying around and lack of exercise and pretty soon your leg muscles would start to atrophy and you would just dissolve into a puddle of weak, useless flesh.
The practice was banned by the Chinese Republic in 1912, but continued on the down low into the 1930's, after which it finally died out. (After all, hard-working Communist women have to be able to haul ass!)
As you can imagine, they spent most of their time lying around on sofas, which may sound like a cushy deal, but not when you start thinking about it. Too much lying around and lack of exercise and pretty soon your leg muscles would start to atrophy and you would just dissolve into a puddle of weak, useless flesh.
The practice was banned by the Chinese Republic in 1912, but continued on the down low into the 1930's, after which it finally died out. (After all, hard-working Communist women have to be able to haul ass!)
But I mispeak. The actual practice of binding the foot may have died out, but the idea of shoes as instruments of torture is still thriving in 2012, particularly in the DSW dynasty. A trip to any shoe store (other than the Birkenstock outlet) during prom season -- or any time of the year, for that matter -- will provide ample evidence. Some women are still willing to contort their feet at excruciatingly strange angles and bind them into cruelly splendid modern day equivalents of the rack and the press in order to (insert your own reason here). Submitted for your perusal:
Yeah, okay, these shoes may say something, but you can bet it's not "hey, let's take the dog for a walk around the block."
And whether it's a pair of 6 inch heels or 4 inch shoes: ouch, it makes my feet hurt just looking at them!!!
One of these photos is a realistic depiction of what a footbound woman can do.
I could have danced all night... and still have begged for... a foot massage!
Early 20th Chinese footbound girl being carried; early 21st Century footbound Lady Gaga being carried
Torture device? Take a look at that x-ray. This is your foot in crazy-high heels.
And what fiendish minds conjure these instruments of torture? The most famous designers of these cruelities also known as high-heeled shoes are men: Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo, Christian Louboutin, Salvatore Ferragamo, Noritaka Tatehana (Lady Gaga's torturer). There's your answer, ladies. They don't have to insert their precious body parts which have 26 bones, 33 joints, 107 ligaments, 19 muscles and tendons into their own creations. The only men who wear high heels are generally pretending to be women!
As a proud mother, I have to say that my wise-beyond-her-years daughter left the store with a pair of lovely, sparkling, eye-catching shoes... with sensible heels!
As a proud mother, I have to say that my wise-beyond-her-years daughter left the store with a pair of lovely, sparkling, eye-catching shoes... with sensible heels!
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...on Mattel for coming out with a Katniss Everdeen Barbie doll... if a girl is still young enough to play with Barbie dolls, she probably shouldn't be reading The Hunger Games or viewing the movie...but hey, it's commerce. Let's celebrate kids killing kids for $29.95 a pop!
...on the author, Suzanne Collins, for selling out her creation for 200,000 pieces of silver. As a book, The Hunger Games pointed up the sickness at the heart of reality TV and echoed back to the bloody gladiator and Christian-bating spectacles of ancient Rome. As a movie, The Hunger Games uses the spectacle of children hunting and killing children as entertainment. Some things should be left on the page.
Here endeth the rant...
...on the author, Suzanne Collins, for selling out her creation for 200,000 pieces of silver. As a book, The Hunger Games pointed up the sickness at the heart of reality TV and echoed back to the bloody gladiator and Christian-bating spectacles of ancient Rome. As a movie, The Hunger Games uses the spectacle of children hunting and killing children as entertainment. Some things should be left on the page.
Here endeth the rant...
- Published on
She's short, tan, stupid and... pregnant. Snooki (real name: Nicole Polizzi), the Jersey Shore's tipsy Guidette, has finally spilled the beans: she and her fiance (Jionni LaVelle-- really?) are expecting. Snooki published A Shore Thing last year, the quickest book to ever hit the remainders table at Barnes and Noble. We look forward to her future literary offerings:
What to Drink While Your Expecting
Dr. Snooki's Baby and Childcare... the Guido Way
Battle Hymn of the Boozer Mom
Adults Who Act Like Children... Raising Children
Pickles and Perambulators Don't Mix
What to Drink While Your Expecting
Dr. Snooki's Baby and Childcare... the Guido Way
Battle Hymn of the Boozer Mom
Adults Who Act Like Children... Raising Children
Pickles and Perambulators Don't Mix
God bless the child with this woman for a mother... because the poor thing will need it!
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This is one of those satires that I wish I had written... but I am happy to present it for your amusement... and acknowledge another's talent: Cracked.com
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Why did the librarian slip on the library floor?
It was the non-friction section.
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"
Announcing the New Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge Device, Otherwise Known as the BOOK!
It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere--even sitting in an armchair by the fire--yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.
Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The book may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward and backward as you wish. Most come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session--even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.
Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, an many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus...
Thank you to IFLANET for borrowing privileges!
It was the non-friction section.
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"
Announcing the New Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge Device, Otherwise Known as the BOOK!
It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere--even sitting in an armchair by the fire--yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.
Here's how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The book may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward and backward as you wish. Most come with an "index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session--even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.
Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, an many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus...
Thank you to IFLANET for borrowing privileges!